What is mindset, exactly. . . is it attitude, perspective, orientation, feeling state, thinking that is in alignment with our goals, mental focus, beliefs, or what?
It is a blend of all of these. Our mindset establishes a template for how we go about manifesting our best life. It can be improved with awareness and repeated effort. Awareness is the first thing we need. If we’re not aware of what thoughts we are holding, what beliefs we are reinforcing or accepting as true, or what we are feeling, we have little opportunity to make any changes in our template.
The trick is to become aware of what we weren’t previously aware of. How to do this? Pay attention, notice, open up with an attitude of curiosity. Ask yourself a question or two, such as, “What beliefs and feelings might be interfering with my desire to be better at. . . ?” If possible, write it down.
Often the culprit is some combination of self-doubt, frustration, anger, fear, believing you’re not worthy, hard-working, disciplined, or you’re just too willful and stuck in negativity or denial (and caught in the victim triangle, blaming others).
Anyone can change. If you practice these old feeling states and beliefs long enough they function as fact. Begin to challenge them, and they change.
Shining the spotlight of awareness upon any one of these, without beating yourself up about the negative space you find yourself in, however, creates a shift simply by noticing.
But in order for change to become permanent, you need a healthy dose of acceptance – you came to be this way for a reason – not because you are lazy or unfocused or a loser – these are all judgments or justifications for resisting change.
That which we resist, persists.
So start by adding this phrase to every self-statement of despair – “I’m overweight. . . and that’s OK.” “I’m too scared. . . and that’s OK.”
Acceptance does not imply complacence. So don’t be fooled into thinking you can simply accept your attributes or circumstances and do nothing to address them. But if your approach originates from self-rejection or self-loathing, you’re facing a steep climb on a muddy surface.
Imagine what your life/event/relationship/health would look and feel like once you successfully master the challenges facing you. In your mind’s eye, notice what you are doing/thinking/feeling/believing differently in this ideal scenario. Allow yourself to absorb the felt sense of this new reality. Breathe it in, marinate in the possibility as if it is already real.
Practice is next. Identify one small or medium step you are ready, willing and able to take and start. Repeat regularly and evaluate the results in a month or so.
Too often, we abdicate our own internal authority and turn to others to find our way through. This can result in bypassing our intuition or inner wisdom. It can certainly be helpful to reach out to a mentor, life coach, therapist, nutritionist, healing arts professional or trusted friend, as long as you leave space for your own unique discovery and experimentation. Learning from your inclinations and process will serve you best.
So, to recap:
- Notice what you’re thinking, feeling, believing, perceiving and how they might be interfering with your desires or justifying your resistance
- Practice acceptance for how you got stuck here
- Ask, “Knowing I am capable and have the needed resources, what would I be doing differently in my best life mindset?”
- Take one action step, no matter how small. But don’t put pressure on yourself to manifest it all quickly – allow it to unfold in its own timing.
- Listen to your internal prompts, knowing and instincts.
- Ask for support when needed, without giving up your personal power.
- Evaluate progress and repeat the cycle at regular intervals – weekly, monthly, or quarterly.
Please share your process, questions, and discoveries – it will encourage others along the way.Share